There’s so much change happening in my life right now, and I’m not coping as well as I’d like. Change for me often means a lot of anxiety and stress, and right now, I feel overwhelmed.
Our church music director left today. While we have a temporary replacement to run rehearsals, it’s going to disrupt how I prepare for services. Normally, I get music two weeks in advance so I can have it transcribed, but that won’t happen for a while. This uncertainty adds extra pressure.
I’ve also decided to step back from the symphonic chorus and join a community choir instead. With my studies starting again in two weeks, I need to reduce stress. The symphonic chorus was becoming too much—production weeks were 5–6 days long, and they’re now doing more split rehearsals, which made everything harder to manage. I’ve become burnt out. I want to sing purely for the joy of it without worrying about perfection or endless score markings that took up most of rehearsal time.
Another major change is rebuilding my social network. I’ve realised my expectations for friendships have been too high, but it’s hard to know how to lower them without feeling like I’m losing part of myself. The time it takes to build connections these days is exhausting; it feels like it takes a year to even have coffee with someone. I’m starting to think deep conversations aren’t valued anymore, so I’m reserving those for online spaces where they feel more welcome.
It’s hard not to feel like there’s something wrong with me. My interests are so different from most people my age. I’m not working, I don’t have kids living with me, and when you add mental health and disability challenges to the mix, I feel like I don’t fit in. I’ve always felt different, both emotionally and in how I come across to others, and it’s really hitting me right now.
If you’re feeling similarly, I’d love to connect. Let’s share in this journey of navigating change, finding joy, and redefining what connection means. #Change #Anxiety #MentalHealth #MusicLife #Choir #Burnout #Community #Friendship #Disability #EmotionalWellbeing #SelfCare #MindfulLiving #PersonalGrowth